


My Person You'll Be

by TheeAnonymousFangirl



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Love, Marriage Proposal, letting go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:34:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26264290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheeAnonymousFangirl/pseuds/TheeAnonymousFangirl
Summary: She didn’t have a plan, had no idea how, when, or where she wanted to propose to Judy. Jen believed she would know when the moment was right as soon as it came...
Relationships: Judy Hale & Jen Harding, Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 1
Kudos: 52





	My Person You'll Be

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I have been working on this for far too long so I figured it was time to finally finish it. I kind of really hate it, but I am happy to be done. Thank you in advance for reading! :)

Jen would never have imagined that a grief group would bring her so much joy. Or that the grieving of her husband would bring her to fall in love all over again. The sunshine clinging to her right side, delicate fingers wrapped around Jen’s forearm and bicep, would never have come into her life if she hadn’t decided to go to the meeting that day.

Watching Judy squish her toes in the sand as they walked along the beach, the boys running up ahead, Jen realized that this was all she ever wanted, complete and utter happiness. And she found that with her Judy and their boys. 

It terrified Jen to love someone the way she loved Judy. It was a crazy and probably somewhat unhealthy relationship, but it also made her whole. For the first time in years, Jen didn’t question if the love she had was returned. With Judy, she never wondered if she was good enough because every day the brunette made her feel like she was more than enough. 

Judy had released Jen’s arm and walked a few paces ahead of her before realizing the blonde was no longer next to her. 

She turned around, the wind picking up and blowing her hair gently across her face. A soft smile sat upon Judy’s lips and Jen swore she had never seen anything so beautiful. 

The blonde slowly walked towards her, a loving smile spread across her face. Judy let the smile of her own grow wider and felt a blush rise in her cheeks.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Jen shrugged and came within inches of Judy. She pushed back Judy’s bangs so she could clearly see her beautiful brown eyes and let her hands rest on the brunette’s hips. 

“I just love you, that’s all.”

Judy’s smile grew wider as she closed the small gap in between them, letting their lips come together in a sweet kiss. This was all Judy had ever wanted, someone to be her other half. For the longest time, she thought it was Steve. But when she met Jen, she knew she was wrong. Although her intentions were never to fall in love with the feisty woman, Judy believed that everything happened for a reason and she’d be lying if she said that every night, as she lay wrapped up in Jen’s arms, she didn’t thank whatever God or Gods were up above for giving her Jen and the boys. 

“I love you, too.”

A little over a year they had been a couple. Well, officially. Many close to them would argue that they became a couple the day Judy moved into Jen’s guesthouse, nearly two years ago. The boys had started referring to Judy as their second mom shortly after she moved in. It came naturally, all of it did. Judy had easily fit into the Harding home, almost like she was meant to live there.

It didn’t take Jen long to figure out that this was meant to be more than a friendship. Shortly after they had started hanging out, Jen could sense a shift. She would catch Judy looking at her, really looking, and of course, there were the little touches of the arm or thigh. It could possibly be why Jen asked her to move in, she wanted to see where things would go. But so much of it was the comfort of having another adult around, especially someone like Judy. 

That’s why when Jen went to the store just a week before their beach adventure, she had never felt so sure of anything than the diamond band pinched between her fingers and how good it would look on Judy’s left ring finger. 

As they meandered farther down the beach, Jen let her fingers dip into the pocket of her cardigan and run over the soft velvet of the small box that rested there.

She didn’t have a plan, had no idea how, when, or where she wanted to propose to Judy. Jen believed she would know when the moment was right as soon as it came, which is why she had carried the ring with her since she bought it. 

The box felt heavy in her pocket, the feeling of making Judy her wife hanging heavy on Jen’s shoulders. She wanted this so badly and woke up every day wondering if it would be the day she asked Judy to be hers forever. 

But today wasn’t it. Something was still off. 

They left the beach in a silent car ride home, Judy and the boys falling asleep almost as soon as Jen pulled out of the parking lot.

Realizing everyone was clearly too tired for an advanced dinner, Jen ordered a pizza from their favorite parlor down the street from the house and picked it up along the way.

The delicious smell itself was enough to wake the crew and encourage them to leave the warmth of the car as soon as Jen pulled into the driveway.

Before Judy exited the vehicle, she reached over the center console and grabbed Jen’s bicep, pulling the blonde towards her and kissing her deeply.

“I had a wonderful day, thank you. I love you,” Judy said as she pulled away.

Jen smiled and pulled her back in, stealing one more kiss.

“My pleasure. I love you too.”  
The box pressed against Jen’s thigh as it was wedged between her and the center console. ‘I could do it right now,’ she thought. With the moon illuminating Judy’s beautiful face and the silence of the sleeping neighborhood around them, ‘I could just pull it out and ask her right now.’

But instead, she let the moment pass and watched as Judy got out of the car and walked towards the door. 

“Are you coming?” Judy called back to her.

Jen nodded and climbed out, catching up to Judy and wrapping her arm around the other woman’s waist.

After dinner, everyone went to bed, too exhausted to stay up any longer.

‘Tomorrow is another day to try again,” Jen thought as she followed Judy to their room, playfully smacking her butt along the way.

They washed their faces, changed into pajamas, and fell into bed next to each other, falling asleep wrapped in the other’s embrace.

Hours later, Jen awoke from a dream, or rather a nightmare, breathing heavily. As her eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room, she realized what it was she needed to do in order to get over this blockage that was keeping her from proposing. 

It was only 5 AM and the sun was just partially up. Jen kissed the temple of the sleeping brunette next to her and climbed out of bed. She threw on a pair of leggings, an oversized sweatshirt, and a pair of beat-up sneakers. Quietly she made her way downstairs and into the garage where her car sat waiting for her. She drove the few miles down the road until she reached the spot she was looking for. She pulled over and shut off the car, listening to the ticking of the engine cooling for a moment, trying to gather her bearings. When she felt she was ready, she stepped out into the morning air, a shiver running down her spine. 

Jen rounded the car and felt the ground change beneath her shoes as she left the asphalt of the road for the grass of the roadside. 

Two years later and the spot looked the same. For the boys’ sake, Jen made it a point to come out here every couple of months to make it look nice, to keep up the memory of their father. 

But this morning, the mission was different. She was here to officially say goodbye to the man she had spent so much of her life with. 

Jen sank to her knees in front of the tiny makeshift gravestone that Henry had insisted on placing in the grass. She could feel the early morning dew seeping through the thin fabric of her leggings, but didn’t care in the slightest. 

She cleared her throat, feeling very uncomfortable in this situation. She didn’t usually believe in all the woo woo shit that Judy did, like that the dead could hear when you spoke to them. But for some reason, she felt like she needed to do this, maybe more for her own wellbeing rather than Ted’s.

“Um, hi. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing here.” It suddenly occurred to Jen how odd it was to be sitting at the place where Ted got hit, rather than go to his actual burial site. Maybe this was part of fully saying goodbye, being at the place where it all happened. Being at the spot where Judy entered her life and Ted left.

She started over, hoping this time she could pull her thoughts into some sort of sentence. “I miss you often. Sometimes it’s really hard without you because of the boys. They really miss you, so much. I hope I’m not fucking them up.” She looked away, trying to fight back the wave of emotion that suddenly overcame her. “I’m not alone anymore, though. In fact, I haven’t been for a while. Her name’s Judy. The way we met isn’t important, but uh, I love her. I’m in love with her and I’m going to ask her to marry me.” Once she finally got started, she kept rambling on. “She’s the most amazing, caring, and wonderful human and makes me feel beautiful and loved every single day. I never wonder if she’ll leave me or if she’s cheating. She would never, unlike you. Thank you for treating me like shit, because you showed me I could have so much better. And I found that with Judy. Fuck you, Ted. I’m finally saying goodbye.” 

Jen stood up, satisfied, and turned back toward the car, not giving the spot a second glance. She pulled away from the roadside and steered toward the warmth of her home and her little family.

The sun rose higher, the rays glinting off the ocean on Jen’s drive home. She felt lighter, more sure and confident than she had in a long time. 

Jen pulled into the driveway and was met by the other sunshine that made the world bright. 

Judy was waiting on the front porch, wrapped in a blanket, sleep still evident in her eyes. 

“Well, good morning sunshine,” Jen announced, pocketing her keys and taking a seat next to Judy. “What are you doing up?”

“Where were you?” Judy asked in response.

Jen tensed and shifted her gaze away from Judy. For some reason, she didn’t want to explain where she was. It wasn’t just the fact that she’d be giving away the engagement, but she didn’t want to say that her dead husband was the reason for not asking sooner.

Jen didn’t answer Judy’s question but instead asked one of her own at noticing Judy working something between her fingers.

“Jude? What’s that?”

Judy sighed and opened her palm, in it was the ring Jen had bought. A sharp intake of breath came from beside the brunette as Jen came face to face with the thing that had been basically attached to her for a week. 

“I found this,” Judy said quietly. “While I was looking for chapstick in your drawer earlier.”

Jen tried to think of something, anything to say that would explain the ring, she had written and rewritten in her head what she would say to Judy in the moment she proposed, but now that it was apparently here, she couldn’t think of anything except for, “What do you think about it?”

“What?” Judy asked in return.

Jen asked again, so unsure of herself she almost took the ring and shoved it in her pocket, pretending this moment wasn’t happening. 

“Do you like it? The cut? The color?”

“Honestly, Jen, it’s perfect,” Judy replied. “And it fits.”

Jen half groaned-half laughed, “Of course it fits, you goofball. It’s for you. There’s no one else I would ask stupid questions about cut and color for.”

There was an uncomfortable silence that followed. Judy clearly knew the question was coming and Jen was trying to find the right words to explain to the love of her life that she wanted to spend the rest of time with her. 

Jen shifted so she was facing Judy, but the brunette refused to look at her, instead choosing to stare straight ahead with her eyes slightly wide.

“Judy-”

Judy cut her off, “Please stop,” she said quietly, squeezing her eyes shut. 

“Wh-what?” Jen asked, taken aback.  
Judy shoved the ring into Jen’s hand and took off inside the house. Jen sat stunned for half a second before her brain clicked and registered what was happening and her legs moved her to follow Judy. As she walked in, she saw Judy trying to flee upstairs, it was clear that she was crying. Jen caught her arm and spun her around before she was able to make it to the second step. 

“Jude, what’s going on?”

Judy pushed passed her and paced in the middle of the entryway. Jen watched, rooted to the spot. She waited for Judy to work through the thoughts that were swirling inside her brain. Her heart was beginning to break. Maybe Judy didn’t feel the same way. Maybe she had been reading into things and thought they were more serious than they actually were. Maybe this was Judy trying to end things. Jen gave in and came up behind Judy, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Will you tell me what’s going on?”

Judy took a deep breath and faced Jen.

“I didn’t ask for this!”

Jen stumbled back as if she was punched. Judy’s words hurt more than physical pain. 

“Why Jen? Why propose to ME?! Of all people that you could be with!”

“Because I’m in love with you Judy! There is no one else for me!” Jen screamed back.

It was silent. Judy dropped her head and wrapped her arms around herself, becoming smaller with the hunch of her shoulders. 

“The last time I was engaged to someone, he died. I’m scared to be attached to someone in that way again.”

Jen stepped back into Judy’s personal space, “Yeah, well the last time I was in love with someone, he died. I’m scared too, Judy. But I thought we were happy.”

Judy looked up through her bangs into Jen’s sad, blue eyes. 

“We are happy.”

“And I thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together? Maybe I was just too hopeful.” 

“You weren’t too hopeful,” Judy sighed. “I do want to spend the rest of our lives together and of course I’ve thought about marrying you. But every time I think about it, I get sent into a panic. I think about Steve and how we thought getting married would make us whole. We were good, so good, until we got engaged. I don’t want to ruin what you and I have.”

Jen took Judy’s hands, unable to go without touching her any longer.

“Do you want to know where I was this morning?” Jen started with an even tone. “I went to the spot where Ted died. I went to say goodbye to him. Judy, I have had this ring for a week but no moment felt right to ask you. And I couldn’t figure out why. I realized it was because I was holding onto all the problems that Ted and I had in our marriage. I realized I was holding onto the anxiety that it would happen with you. But here’s the difference, Judy. You make me feel more loved than I ever have. I never question where I’m at with you. My boys love you. You fit into this family better than Ted ever did. I am home when I’m with you. I want to make you my wife Judy, but if you don’t want it, I am happy to stay how we are.”

Judy looked frustrated and conflicted, still torn between the fear from the past and the love that she held for Jen. She bit her lip and looked Jen in the blue that swirled in her eyes. She saw a future, a happy, loving future with Jen. She knew that Jen wasn’t Steve. She knew Jen wouldn’t leave her in hard times. In fact, she would only hold on tighter to Judy. 

“Please ask,” Judy slightly pleaded.

One side of Jen’s lips turned upward. She bent down onto one knee, never breaking eye contact with Judy. 

“Well this is not exactly how I wanted to do this,” Jen laughed. “But hey, we never have been the pair that does things the easy or normal way.”

Judy snorted and rolled her eyes. They really were the world’s most dysfunctional couple. Hell, Judy had just gotten done yelling at Jen and now the blonde was proposing.

“Judy Ann Hale, I have loved you from the moment I met you. I know you probably don’t believe that because I was a little freaked out when you came up to me at the grief group that day,” they both chuckled slightly at that before Jen continued. “But it’s true. The first thing I noticed about you was your beautiful smile and the way it suddenly made my world a little brighter. In the darkest time of my life, you were consistently the bright light for me.”

Judy could feel more tears welling up in her eyes and her throat closing up from holding back the waterworks that were threatening to spill out. The way Jen was looking at her was the way she had seen in movies. It was a deep kind of love that pierced a person deep in the heart and made them feel whole. 

“I don’t want to do life without you ever again. You’re my person, Jude. You have always been my person. Please continue on this crazy journey with me, but as my wife. Will you marry me?”

Judy bent down so she was on her knees, level with Jen. She reached out and placed a hand on each side of the blonde’s face.

“Jennifer Harding, from the moment we spoke that first day, I knew you were the one. You have been my biggest supporter, always there when I need you. You have shown me what it’s like to have a family. You have made me a mom. I want to spend the rest of our lives with you by my side. Yes, I will marry you.”

They kissed, and it was like the first time. Sparks flew and they became one. They only pulled away so Jen could slip the ring on Judy’s finger. 

They collapsed on the floor together in the entryway, laying side by side. They heard footsteps descending the stairs and seconds later Charlie was lying by Jen while Henry took his spot next to Judy. 

Jen turned her head to look at Charlie, with sleep in his eyes and his hair a mess. 

“Congratulations,” He said up toward the ceiling, a hint of a smile dancing across his lips. 

Jen smiled back and kissed the side of his head, which he rolled his eyes at. The blonde turned to look at Judy next, who was already staring at her.

“I love our life. And I love you,” Judy spoke, pressing her lips against Jen’s. 

Jen found Judy’s hand and brought it to her lips, the ring glistening in the still early morning light.

“I love you forever and always.”


End file.
